Sorry for my brief absence. I have been doing a lot of thinking about the direction that I want the Bella Mandarin blog to take. I of course love sharing all my tutorials and random tips I come across along the way. I also plan to have a page up here in the near future so you can purchase some of the items that I make. However, I have been really feeling lead to talk more about my life – struggles, triumphs, falls flat on my face and most of all the brokenness that we all experience at some time or another.
I know i’ve only been around a couple of months, but i’ve been planning this blog and business for far longer than I have been posting. Thanks so much to all of my friends and family members who have encouraged me to continue blogging and making crafty items.
My biggest thing right now: finding a job. I recently moved back home as I shared with you before and need to find a job here. I have been searching and applying and praying constantly that I will get that call for that next great opportunity. This is a tough process, I want to be back in the working world and doing something but I want to do something with a purpose and at a place that I feel like I will both contribute to their organization but at the same time grow personally. This is one of those struggles that can easily knock you down but I have faith that God’s plan is bigger and much more purposeful than mine and as long as I do my part with applying and continuing to search, I know he will put me exactly where he has known I will go.
Another thing that I think a lot of people don’t talk about and they should: depression. The number of people that suffer from various forms of this disease is huge and it can take a very serious toll on your health, relationships and every aspect of your life. This disease took my best friend from me just a couple of years ago. This one moment has shaped and changed the way I think about and do everything. This friend meant so much to me. Was one of the few people I was ALWAYS real with. I miss her and I think about her everyday. There is such a stigma attached to depression and I want to write about it to be real with everyone. This is a very real and serious disease and there is nothing wrong with seeking help, in fact it makes you pretty brave to step forward and take control of something that can have such control over you. I know from personal experience.
I also just got out of an almost three year relationship with a man that I love very much and will always care about. He truly is my best friend. I am so fortunate. It has been a struggle but I know that God has plans for both of us and whether our paths will cross again, only God knows, but no matter how much I know God has it all figured out – it is still tough. You share a lot – laughs, cries, fights, support, etc. and we had some especially tough life things that we went through together and I can tell you that nothing can change that bond and if you are struggling with something like this, just pray. God has given me peace and understanding that he has it all under control I need only focus on what he has for me now.
We all have the times where we are on top of the world but on the flip side we all also have those moments or periods in life where we hit a valley and we aren’t quite sure how we will make it out. Rest assured that God’s got the plans and he will never give you more than you can handle. My sweet friend C told me once “God will never show you Gold and give you Silver” and that runs through my head anytime I feel overwhelmed. It is true.
I appreciate everyone of you who read through my updates and new blog posts and I just feel that it is important to share things close to my heart while also sharing recipes, crafts and helpful ideas. That is what friends do after all – the good the bad and the in between.