Happy 2013 friends!! Can’t believe that another new year has begun and although I got sick on New Years Eve and literally just emerged from my sick hole, this year has already taught me quite a few things.
There has absolutely been a reason for my hiatus and It wasn’t the holidays or any of that, it has been a struggle of purpose for me. Obedience to God and learning to truly trust that he has a plan for me. Everyday I wake up is a blessing. What happens when my feet hit the floor has already been planned. If you know me I HATE waiting for things. I am not patient. I want to know the ending. It’s why when I start a new book, I just have to finish it quickly. Patience is not my thing.
I have been on a journey of self discovery to learn to love the waiting and treasure the everyday. A very close friend of mine recently posted this quote on Facebook and I literally cried when I read it because it called me out on the mediocrity I’d been giving God.
“Our trust that God is in control while we’re in our time of waiting must be acted upon and lived out, otherwise it is just a sentimental cop-out.”
It’s true, so true. How many times have I been thankful when things are awesome just to turn around and be silent when things are hard? And my definition of “hard” isn’t even close to what hard is. So 2013 is the year for me totally changing and being thankful in my time of waiting, being faithful that each step is God’s plan. Its in his hands and all I need to do is listen. Wow. SO much simpler than worrying all the time. Its easy to tell someone else that you believe God is in control but if you aren’t actually living and believing that’s true then there it is – the sentimental cop-out.
I have some very close friends that really need prayer and they have taught me A LOT about the importance of faith and understanding that God has a reason. You may not like the process of his plan but there is one and that is a hard thing to swallow because many times it is not fair and you will not understand in the least. In this case, I certainly don’t understand and I have been praying that God will continue to do his work and I am continuing to be thankful for friends that are absolute fighters.
You have heard me mention it before, but the husband of a couple I know very well and am close with was diagnosed in June with cancer. At the age of 28. Right before his 29th Birthday. They have only been married a few years and have received blow after blow in their family. So after a head on battle with cancer, with chemo treatments, with total lifestyle changes for them both, they come to December. Expecting to find out that the Chemo had gotten rid of all the cancer and ready to move on and be able to live happily and more carefree like they should be doing at their age. Instead, several days before Christmas they find out that there is now a brain tumor on the brain stem. My first instinct was God how can you let this happen, this isn’t fair and I can’t understand how you could allow this to happen – their first reaction – grow closer to God, trust in God and prepare for another battle. Talk about courage. When they have every reason to let something just flatten their faith they are instead digging in and holding onto God’s promises. Its amazing. That’s not to say that they don’t have days without struggle or confusion or anger I am sure but amazing faith is what they show.
It hurts my heart thinking of all that they have been through together but they are the definition of what it means to be strong in a relationship. They are a picture perfect definition of what marriage is all about and what God intends for marriage. His sister and husband and their whole family are the definition of a strong family that all stands firmly on God’s word and promises. They have been through so much and yet their whole family only grows closer with each battle that they fight. They are all the true definition of faith and love, no matter what comes their way. I don’t know how they can do it but I can tell you it is such a privilege to have each of them in my life as such amazing examples.
So BellaMandarin will still be all about my DIY projects and fun things like that. But this is God’s work, this is his plan and I pray that my struggles with faith and life might also encourage someone else to be more vocal. No more sentimental cop-outs.
“Faith – When you come to the edge of all the light you have known and are about to step out into the darkness, faith is knowing one of two things will happen… there will be something to stand on or God will teach you to fly.”